J is for...Jobs!

J is for...jobs

How many people end up in a job in the field you studied in College?

According to a study in November 2013 on CareerBuilder, 1/3rd of college grads will never work in the field they studied in school. I personally graduated with a degree in pharmacy, took the boards, got a job at a  retail pharmacy in Michigan, but found that it was not for me.

I'll leave the details of why pharmacists deserve more respect for another blog post.

After my year in pharmacy, we moved to Austin, TX and I began taking classes in Engineering Design Graphics.  The classes taught me how to use AutoCAD to draw up architect and engineer plans. Then it was a matter of the right place, right time. I was offered a job at the college to manage the continuing education classes and later asked to teach a semester long class for the community college. I truly loved my job and the people I worked with. But soon it was time to start a family and so we moved back to the midwest to be closer to family. And unfortunately, the midwest is less liberal with offering jobs to quality people without a pedigree of job experience. But that was alright because I soon found myself pregnant and well on my way to mommyhood.

Three kids and 14 years later, they are all now  in school for 9 months out of the year, giving me time to write books. The first book I wrote was to pay homage to a family that came to our aid during a difficult time. It was a very short story that I self-published. I did not intend on making millions off the book, rather, I wrote it to honor the folks who were so helpful to my family during that time. But I loved it...the writing and creating, and will continue writing as long as life allows it.

What will yo be when you grow up?

I is for...Ideas!

I is for...Ideas

When I speak to students about being an author, one of their questions is, "Where do you get ideas for your stories?"

While writing my first book, I came across an article that said first time writers often write an autobiography or biography. Indeed, this was true for me as well. as my first book was based on real life events. It was a story I knew well, with characters I did not need to create. I just had to find my way to putting the story on the page.

But let's face it, I am no Ben Franklin. I have not invented many important things or saved many people. And while my mom and I may think my life is interesting, I know the rest of the world could probably care less. So one short book was enough to give me some confidence in the book writing process.

Non-fiction is real, but fiction is fun. So how do I come up with the ideas for my works of fiction?

Stories do not come to me all at once, instead I get inspiration for scenes from music, tv shows, feelings, quotes, etc. I write down something that moves me and see if I can work that into my story. In Between the Bleeding Willows (my latest YA Paranormal book), I really wanted a scene where a girl woke up in a strange place after being unconscious. I wanted a strong man, standing with arms folded in the room when she woke up. He would be annoyed with her, for entering and complicating his life. And while she did not choose to enter his life, she now is very much a part of it and trying to understand her role.

Later in the story I have the girl attend a martial arts class and meet a young and charismatic guy. I intended on him just being a friend and only in the story for a brief time. But as the dialog unfolded between him and my main character, I fell in love with him and couldn't let him go. In fact, he has a big role in book 2 of my Demon Hunters series.

My ideas come from many different places but are usually just snippets that I piece together to build the story.

When the well runs dry, here are my go to tips and tricks:

- Ask someone else for an idea (my daughter suggested I write about demons, and so I did, Between the Bleeding Willows is a story of demons and demon hunters)

- Take a walk (walking has been proven to spark creativity)

- Turn off the tv

- Go some place new (new restaurant, new town, new outing) I went to a quiet restaurant with a journal in hand and told the waitress I'd be awhile and to keep the Diet Cokes coming. I managed to frame out all of my 2nd book and she was grateful for the generous tip. It was nice to be away from the distractions of home.

- Get into someone else's mind. Think about how the CEO of your company or your child might view and react to a situation.

- Brainstorm and write anything and everything that comes to mind - no filter. I catch myself wanting to write something and stopping myself and saying "you might lose the YA genre if you add that scene or say that". And it distracts me from my train of thought. Now I know better...I just add it in and will think on it later when I re-read it or when my editor mentions it. First ideas need to be free of judgement or inhibitions. Julia Cameron has a great book called The Artist's Way and in it is valuable advice on sparking creativity. One of the main exercises she encourages is Morning Pages.

"There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages– they are not high art. They aren’t even “writing.” They are about anything and everything that crosses your mind– and they are for your eyes only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put three pages of anything on the page…and then do three more pages tomorrow." - Chris Winfield, Entrepreneur and Morning Pages believer (for more insight on how Morning Pages helped Chris visit: http://www.chriswinfield.com/morning-pages/ )

Anyone interested in trying Morning Pages with me for 1 month??? We can share our experience once it's done :>

H is for...Happiness.

H is for...Happiness

I have a 7 year old who counts his thunderstorms instead of his rainbows. One bad event in a day can erase 10 good events and he has suddenly had the "worst day ever". Unfortunately, he is not the only one on this planet who has this perception.

The rest of our family does not let one bad event ruin the day. That being said, we have worked with him and read a lot about the subject. And while I would love to make sure his day is perfect, that's not possible.

Happiness is based on your perception.  

When we lived in an apartment in Austin, TX we were frequented by a stray cat. It was the skinniest thing I ever saw and I couldn't help myself, I put a can of tuna out for it each day. Well, the cat sure enjoyed that and continued coming around, although we never interacted with each other as it was skittish. But I was content with my pet cockatiels and helping the poor skinny kitty.

One day the cat was sitting proudly on our patio next to a dead bird. I thought "Oh no! He's letting me know what he wants to do to my pet birds!" So I tried to make the patio less inviting by removing our chairs. I headed off to school and told my friend about the "sick message" Miss Kitty sent me. She was a cat lover and began laughing at my story. "That wasn't a sick message, Miss Kitty was giving you a present for being kind to her." OMG, I felt so terrible for being mean to the cat and went home and reset the patio furniture, letting Miss Kitty know she was welcome back.

An interesting experiment was done regarding perception and noted on CreativityPost.com:
http://www.creativitypost.com/create/change_the_way_you_look_at_things_and_the_things_you_look_at_change

"John Bargh and his colleagues at New York University asked their volunteers to do a mental task involving words relating to old age, such as "wrinkled", "grey" and "bingo". A second group was shown words unrelated to old age. The researchers then said the experiment was over and secretly recorded the time each participant took to walk down the long hallway to the exit. Those with old age on their mind took significantly longer to walk down the corridor."
Being able to change your perception is a useful skill as it can also help you manage your pain. But how do we change our perception?

Here are things we have tried with some success with our own son:
-Take turns at dinner sharing 2 good and 1 bad thing about your day. This will help everyone see that bad things happen each day, to everyone, but it doesn't have to ruin our day. It is also important to tell how you managed the bad event so they have ideas for how to manage their own bad events.
-Remind them that while they cannot control everything that happens in the day, they can control how they react to those things.
-Tell them that if they look around and only see the bad things around them, their day will be bad. They need to start looking for the good to make their days better.  Count the rainbows not the thunderstorms.
-Be an example of optimism. When something goes wrong, find a positive spin on it. "My favorite pen quit working....but that's ok, I can buy a brand new one or even better...I can find an even cooler pen!"

My son has begun saying (with no prompting) "I just know that today is going to be a great day." He is far happier than he was when he saw the world through the pessimistic lenses. In the words of Ice Cube "Check yourself, before you wreck yourself!"

Just Can't Lose by the Aquabats is one of the best examples of having optimism during bad circumstances! Here's the lyrics...great song too.

"Just Can't Lose" by The Aquabats

I can’t open the door to my car anymore

But I don’t care

You don’t call me on the phone anymore

But I don’t care

I got hit on the head with my new surfboard

And it’s making me bored

Cuz I don’t know I don’t care anymore

I got a littering ticket at the dump

Such a tragedy

My parents fired me for mowing my lawn

Finally

My hair gel’s obsolete

My shoes don’t fit on my feet

Juicy Fruit’s not as sweet

Cuz I don’t know I don’t care anymore

Must be a voodoo doll with my name on it

Maybe a black cat has crossed my path

But I never get sad and I never look back

Cuz no matter what I do

I just can’t lose

And even if I do

I’ll jump your bike

Right off of your roof

Cuz if I crash real bad

Your sister will think I’m rad

No matter, no matter what I do

I just can’t lose

I stepped on a crack and

It broke my momma’s back

But she’s okay

I’m a hypochondriac and

I think I had a heart attack

But I’m okay

Things are looking up

Didn’t get hit by a bus

Maybe I’m starting to care

A little more than before

Must be a voodoo doll with my name on it

Maybe a black cat has crossed my path

But I never get sad and I never look back

Cuz no matter what I do

I just can’t lose

And even if I do

I’ll jump your bike

Right off of your roof

Cuz if I crash real bad

Your sister will think I’m rad

No matter, no matter what I do

I just can’t lose

Yeah I broke my leg but

I guess that’s just my style

It’s a victory because

It made your mamma smile

Cuz no matter what I do

I just can’t lose

And even if I do

I’ll jump your bike

Right off of your roof

Cuz if I crash real bad

Your sister will think I’m rad

No matter, no matter what I do

I just can’t lose

And even if I do I can always move

And even if I do

I can auction off all of your shoes

You lose

G is for...Genetic Mutations

G is for...Genetic Mutations.

In pharmacy school, very little was taught to us students about genetic mutations. My only conversations about mutations were when I talked about the X-men movies. But 3 years ago, my 4 year old was diagnosed with a rare and life threatening disorder, Vascular Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. It's a mutation of the COL3A1 gene, or in simpler terms, a collagen disorder. VEDS  is like having your body be made with faulty glue. While most people have 100% strong glue, VEDS patients have just 15% strong glue...in EVERY cell of their body. Skin tears easily, organs tear or rupture easily, blood vessels develop aneurysms or may dissect, and the cherry on this sucky diagnosis...surgery is dangerous and reserved only in life saving measures. For some reason, when a VEDS patient is hurt, injured, sick - the body goes into this "inflammatory state" where white blood cells head to the injury to try and repair it, but this inflammatory state makes the glue turn to water and VEDS patients fall apart in their surgeon's hands, many do not survive.

VEDS is "rare" but is it really? It is so frequently misdiagnosed or undiagnosed throughout the world that it is estimated that only 5% of people with EDS (the common and less deadly form) have actually successfully been diagnosed. The other 95% do not know they have it. The VEDS population represent a small amount of that number but VEDS can easily be ruled out with a blood test if doctors suspect it. The numbers are shocking and appalling.

Common VEDS signs and symptoms:
-flat feet
-bendy finger joints
-low muscle tone
-veiny chest
-bruises easily or skin tears easily
-family history of early death or aneursyms
-sleeps with eyes open

Unfortunately VEDS patients often experience their first vascular event in the twenties and the average life expectancy is 48 years old. However, many have died in their teens and young twenties and several have lived into their 50's and 60's.

We take our son to see the top doc in this field at Johns Hopkins Hospital every other year. We have him on the medicine they hope will prevent some of the issues and every fall we give a talk at the local med school to educate them on the disorder.

I also wrote a YA romance called Rarity to raise awareness about the disorder. One of the characters gets diagnosed with it and it complicates their relationships. Here's the link to buy Rarity if anyone is interested in giving it a read. http://amzn.com/B00YTETSGK

Where do we go from here?
Onward and upward toward a cure. No, you did not mishear me...a cure. There is a new procedure that has been developed to splice out the gene mutation and recode it with the corrected gene information. This procedure is known as CRISPR. It works on EVERY cell in the body. Scientists all over the world have begun human testing with fantastic results (cured leukemia in a child, muscular dystrophy, genetic blindness to name a few). So my challenge now, is to shine a light on VEDS so that researchers become interested in testing it on this rare disorder.

For more info on CRISPR: http://vector.childrenshospital.org/2014/09/genome-editing-a-crispr-way-to-correct-disease/

For more info on VEDS: http://www.ehlersdanlosnetwork.org/vascular.html




My son is now 7, soon to be 8. I'd love for him to have a chance to live a "normal" life, to not worry that playing football with the kids at recess might kill him. To not worry about lifting something heavy (may cause aortic dissection). Here's to hoping we can get this cured before it's too late.

F is for...Family/friends

F is for...Family/friends.

In my book, there is a big difference between the two. Family will ALWAYS be your family, no matter if you fight or have many miles and years between you...they will still be your family. With that being said, you can't pick your family. Sure you might have some A+ family members, like Aunt Martha who will gladly knit you anything you ask or help in anyway she can. But you also get the D- family members, like Uncle Bobby who doesn't show up to any family functions, and when he does he belittles the other adults in the room. And unfortunately, all too often, there are family members who put on a grand facade of being a perfect family. But upon closer inspection, you'll see through the cracks in the facade to the crap that lies beneath.

Yes, fertilized by bullshit indeed!

But friends, on the other hand, are chosen and friendships can be lost. 

What makes a good friend?

-Someone who has your back

-Someone who makes you feel good about yourself

-Someone who doesn't judge you

-Someone whose company you enjoy

-Someone who won't put you down

-Someone who will help you when you face a tough situation

-Someone who will listen

-Someone who respects you

I also find it interesting that some people have many friends that they are close to, while others have just one or two. One theory behind why some choose one over the other depends on the economy and whether or not people move a lot. When the economy is good, people tend to move making the relationships more shallow but widespread. When the economy is bad, people tend to stay put and build stronger relationships with the people in close proximity to them. 

I'm the kind of person that has one or two close friends...a strong and deep relationship with them.

Do you have many good friends or a handful of best friends?

E is for...Escape

E is for...Escape.

Escaping into a good book at the end of a hard day can be such a treat. You can leave your troubles behind and go on wild adventures, fall in love, and have a wild rumpus! There are a handful of books that, once I began reading them, I could not stop. My favorite of these was the emotional read, Reason to Breathe by Rebecca Donovan. It was a very strong story with the most amazing love that grew between two characters. What a truly talented author she is to use her words to slowly strip away the real world and immerse me into the intense action. I literally had a wooden spoon stirring the spaghetti noodles while the other hand held my book. 

Read because it's good for you.
Read because it's fun.
Read because it makes you feel happy.
Read just because.

I escape every night before bed.

When do you escape into a book?

D is for...Dreams

D is for....Dreams.

When I grow up, I want to be an author.
This was not my dream as a child. I loved to draw and wanted to be an artist. But dreams change as your life changes. And sometimes we get so caught up in the daily hustle and bustle, that we forget our dreams. We stop mid-ladder and get busy on the rung we're on, forgetting that we can still climb higher. I'm guilty of this. When I had kids, life got so busy that I was stuck in the now, trying to get through each day that came. But it is very satisfying to set a goal, strive for it, and achieve it.

So what makes those dreams and aspirations so difficult to achieve? Are we setting the bar too high? Do we lack motivation? Have we been dealt the crap card in life?

In my opinion, the biggest barriers to achieving one's dreams is self-doubt and fear.

When I first started out in the author world, a cousin of mine congratulated me on successfully becoming an author. She said "I would love to publish my poetry someday but I have to become a better poet first." It was a classic example of self-doubt.

I quickly said, "Just do it. I did not wait for anyone to tell me I was good enough before publishing a book. Heck, I was a pharmacist and teacher before this...not a writer! Take the leap, see what happens."

But how do you quiet the inner critic enough to let you bravely put it out there? 

For me, I wrote a story about a time in my life when our chips were down and people, strangers, came to our aid and were so generous. I did not write it to become a writer or be successful. I wrote it to pay homage to them. It's a super short book that I self-published and it's rough...but it tells the amazing story that people have loved hearing for all these years. BOOM! First book published. 

This was all I needed to introduce me to the literary world and the self-publishing process. So for me, the way around self-doubt, was to go in and not expect much. Think of it as more of a spontaneous road trip where you are game for anything VS a planned expensive vacation. The expectations for the road trip are low so every cool site you discover, every cool person you encounter, every experience feels like a win. While the expensive planned vacation may be truly wonderful, there is an expectation. If you shell out good money, you expect to have a good time. But if it doesn't go as planned, there is potential for disappointment.

So where did bypassing my self-doubt leave me?

I now have 2 published books with Limitless Publishing. Here's a pic of them:

But I still have to work at keeping the inner critic in check and probably always will. Have you successfully steered clear of your self-doubt and fear to achieve a dream?