2 More Kindle Books free this weekend!
Inconsequential (Book 2 of J+P series)
YA Fiction, dealing with relationships, emotional abuse, cutting, and finding true love. Perry is back for her sophomore year, anxious to bask in the freedom and independence that college brings. All summer she anticipated being reunited with her friends who have been a huge support system in her life. But this might be her last year. Perry's tyrant parents threaten to remove her from school if she does not excel. She has to achieve high grades and be accepted into the highly competitive junior year Life Science classes in order to stay. She can't imagine leaving this school or her friends - so failing is not an option.
Her plan is to keep her head down and not be distracted by the opposite sex. But will obstacles get in the way of her success? Will she be able to ignore her hormones and the guys on campus? Is she smart enough and studious enough to make the grade?
Blurb from Chapter 5
“You are going to
Jared’s room for a study session?! Ooo I feel something brewing!!!” Jen
teased.
“Stop it and go have sex
with your boyfriend or something! Leave me alone. I am struggling
with physics and he is so smart at it. I just need to tap into that brain
of his.”
“Perry, first of all,
you can use a crib sheet on the test - why bother studyin’? Just make a kickass
crib sheet. Second, you want him, not just his brain. And third, I
think I WILL go have sex with my boyfriend. Thanks for the suggestion.”
I rolled my eyes at her.
“Don’t forget to doll
up. You know you want him!!!” Eye roll number two.
“Go away you sex fiend!
Leave me alone.” Jen skipped down to her room with a smile on her
face.
I loved Jen to death but
I barely saw her. Teasing each other just made me miss her more.
She and Edward were inseparable and their hormones were out of control.
She believed everyone should be having sex regularly. I was not
trying to join her sex nation. I had already made a kickass crib sheet,
and had my notebook, so I pinched my cheeks and spread some lip gloss on before
heading to the guys side of the dorm.
Jared was waiting at the
entrance, leaning against the door. He looked breath taking. He was
lean with broad shoulders, brown messy hair, and a striking profile. It
took my breath away seeing him standing there. Ok, study session, no
feelings for him. Feelings for him led to hurt and pain last year.
This year is about grades and staying at this college. Physics,
physics, physics. Just then he looked up and saw me. He smiled at
me and I melted. What was this pull that he had on me? I hated
turning into such a marshmallow around him.
“Hey Jared. Thanks
for helping me tonight.”
“Glad to help.
Greg is out shooting hoops with David so it should be quiet in my room.”
All alone with Jared.
Grades, Staying here.
“Great.” I
followed him to his room and sat in one of their old chairs. I felt goose
bumps growing on my arms and my stomach felt all jumbled. Maybe this was
a bad idea. How much would I end up learning when my body was screaming
at me how excited it was? I was torturing myself by being here. But
maybe I was wrong, maybe I could pull it together and do this. I unpacked
my book, crib sheet, and notes. “I worked on my crib sheet today and I
think it covers everything.”
“Crib sheet? You
don’t need a crib sheet for the test. Let me see that thing.”
“Careful with it.
Yes I do need it.” I stated.
“What the heck Perry!”
Jared flipped the crib sheet over in his hands, lifted flaps, and pulled
out the accordion-style folded panel with my most prized equations. I
gleemed proudly at my piece of art. I had worked hard and hoped it would
be a huge help on the test. “This thing is multi-layered. Why are
all these sections colored differently?”
“To keep sections
organized.”
“Ten bucks says they
won’t let you use this.”
“What? No way.
They totally will. It’s still single paged!”
“Yeah, POP-UP single
page. “ He laughed and shook his head in disbelief. He then put the
crib sheet up high and settled in next to me in another chair. “All you
need is one equation. All the rest can be derived from that one
equation.”
“Jared, that will take
me the whole test period! My brain is not super physics brain like yours.
I can’t derive like you. I need cheat sheets!”
“You don’t Perry, trust
me.” Jared spent the next 2 hours trying to teach me how to derive tons
of equations from just one. I spent those 2 hours resisting his teaching.
It was actually an enjoyable argument and a fun study session. In
the end, I didn’t learn much but I felt reconnected with Jared.
“Thanks for teaching me
nothing.” I joked as I was packing up.
“Hey, I was teaching you
plenty, you just turned your ears off and got stubborn.” he poked me in the
ribs. “But, you’re welcome and anytime you need something, let me know.”
He wrapped me in a hug and we said goodnight.
When I made it back to
the room I noticed Molly was still up. “Well, how did the study session
go?” She inquired.
“Great, I didn’t learn a
thing,”
“What?”
“He tried, but he is too
smart for me. I need someone less smart to tutor me.” The insane
statement that just came out of my mouth was honest but absurd. “He
didn’t want me to use a crib sheet. Can you believe it?”
“Really? Why?” She
asked.
“Something about
deriving all equations from one. Like I said, too smart for me.”
She laughed. Just
then our room phone rang and we both jumped. I grabbed it and answered.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Where the hell have you
been?” It was my mom. I had forgotten to call her back and she
sounded angry.
“Mom, sorry, I’ve been
busy. I have a big test this week and just got busy studying.”
She could care less
about my excuse and I knew she’d react that way, but my instinct was to defend
myself. Unfortunately, it only led to a bigger fight in the end.
She spent the next 10
minutes arguing over my irresponsibleness in not calling her back and 20
minutes bragging about the incredible achievements she accomplished at work and
how all her bosses adored her. “Then I presented the Williams project to
the group and they fell in love with me. They could not stop talking
about what a great job I had done on my slides and talk. You should
really be proud of me.” All I could say was “That’s great, sounds like
you’re really happy.” The last 5 minutes were her reminding me that we
had 4 weeks of the fall semester remaining and that every grade counted.
She never asked how I was doing, if I was happy, if I was feeling well.
This was a call about her and she wanted an audience. When it ended
I felt unimportant and uncared for. I wished so badly that I could tell
her about my study session with Jared. I wanted to share the things that
made me happy, but I knew it would be met with scolding. If I didn’t make the
grades, she would blame him for distracting me. “I need to go to
bed Mom. Goodnight.”
“Aren’t you going to
tell me you love me?”
Sigh, “I love you.”
“Ok, I love you too
then.”
God dammit. Even
the end of our conversation pissed me off. Why couldn’t she say those
words to me first? What if I didn’t say “I love you?” Would she
never say those words to me on her own? I hung up the phone but headed
straight for the bathroom.
“Perry, you ok?”
Molly shouted after me.
I waved her off. I
was mad and I needed space. I had enough to handle here, I didn’t
need to be her cheerleader too! I ran into the last bathroom stall and
slammed and locked the door. I slid down to the ground and felt the hot
tears on my cheeks. I don’t even know how long I sat there. I
didn’t want Molly to see me all a mess. I had tried telling others about
the turmoil between my mom and myself but no one ever believed it. In
fact, they would just look at me and not say anything. In hindsight I think
they were trying to stay out of it, but it felt like my concerns were not valid
because they wouldn’t even comment on what I had confided in them. I had
learned to endure it and keep quiet. Sometimes I wished the abuse was
physical so it was visible to me and others. The emotional abuse was
something felt inside. It hurt just as bad, but outsiders could not see
it, making it hard to believe it. I did not want Molly inquiring
about it. I am not sure I could explain it to her. Maybe it really
was all in my head?
I needed the pain inside to go away. I needed to be embraced in love. Was I so undeserving of that? I must be an awful person to not be worthy of love. I wondered if my lack of relationships with the opposite sex was because I had been taught that I don’t deserve love. I took some deep breaths and splashed some cold water on my face.
*****
Trusting
Strangers
http://amzn.com/B00AQB2S6W free kindle download Feb.
21-22, 2015
Trusting Strangers follows a 7 year old girl and her family as then travel from their hometown in a Chicago suburb to the lush Smoky Mountains. It's their first vacation, but it will be their most memorable one. As their vacation is coming to an end, an unexpected life-changing event leaves them stranded in the tourist town of Gatlinburg, with no money to extended their stay. The family find themselves having to trust in strangers.
This biographical tale is a part of my childhood that has introduced some amazing characters into my life. When I retell the story to people they remark "how incredible!", "you have got to write that story down!", and "you just don't hear about this kind of event these days!".
Blurb from Chapter 11
"Mom, do motel's
have TV’s?" I asked.
"Lots of motels do,
I am not sure about the one we are staying in. But it's all we can afford so we
have to make do with whatever is there. Got it?" she replied.
I nodded and said a
silent prayer for a TV.
Mom walked in and talked
to a guy in the office. It was strange how the office was in a separate building
from the rooms. She returned to Jerry and me with a key and a smile.
We headed over to a door
marked 150. I wondered if there were 150 rooms here. To me it looked like just
ten. What a strange number system. Jerry and Mom started crying about dad. I
didn't know why they were getting so upset over it. He was going to be fine.
Every inch of my body knew he was going to be ok. How could they be sad when he
was going to be fine? I told them they needed to stop crying and they got mad
at me and told me I didn't even know what a heart attack was. I couldn't
believe they said that. I knew it was when your heart stopped working, like
what happened to Mr. Dumas when he died, but I just knew dad would be fine, no
question in my mind. Jerry and mom looked pretty irritated with me.
Mom opened the door to
our headquarters for the next few weeks. It was very dark and stale in the
room. We set our stuff down near a dresser and even in the darkness I could
make out a TV! All was good and I said a silent prayer in thanks of the TV.
Mom opened the blinds
and we all went silent. Room 150 didn't look so bad in the dark, but in the
little bit of light...
The window was only a
foot tall by 2 feet wide and was filthy and covered in spider webs. Dust from
the disrupted drapes danced in what little sunlight the window provided. The
ceiling had those square panels people put in their basement, most of them were
stained yellow or brown. The carpet was dark brown plush but was ratted
together as though it had many things spilled or leaked upon it. The blankets
had cigarette burns and holes throughout it. And the air was stale and musty. I
did not even want to look in the bathroom for fear that it would be worse in
there.
My mom did not say
anything. Did she not notice how crappy this place looked? It felt so unclean
and bad. The thought of sleeping in this bed made me want to cry. I needed to
be brave and endure this so Mom did not have one more thing to deal with.
I was longing for my
bedroom back home. My pink bedroom, with my single bed, my white furniture, my
soft tan carpet that had no spills, and no grime.
My blanket that was
clean and white, free of cigarette holes and burns. I missed Christine. It had
been almost two weeks since I last saw her. I wondered if she had made a new
best friend. I wondered if life would be different when I went home. I wondered
if people would make fun of me because I sounded like the Tennessee people with
their southern accent. Would we ever get home? This whole situation was
beginning to feel like a really bad nightmare.
I sat on the corner of
the bed, because I didn't see any marks on that part of the blanket. Mom
announced that she needed to make a phone call. I hoped it was to a fancy hotel
to make reservations for us. I was surprised that she got up and left the room.
"Where are you
going mom?" Jerry asked.
"There are no
telephones in the rooms of this motel. I have to use the payphone in the
parking lot." she replied and pointed toward a graffiti covered payphone.
"Are you kidding
me? Mom, what kind of place is this? Do we have to stay here?" Jerry
pleaded.
"Sweetie, come on.
It's just for a little while. Maybe when Clive and Cathy's guests leave they
will welcome us back . Let's do our best to make this work till then.
Please?" she replied. No hotel reservations for us.
He nodded and then
turned away from her with his head down. A few minutes later Mom returned and
told us she was letting the hospital know we had switched locations. Great, now
that makes it official.
Mom spent the day with
us walking around Gatlinburg. I am not sure if she just needed a day to
reassure us that all was ok, if she needed a mental break, or she was trying to
keep us out of the motel till bedtime. Whatever the reason, we had a fun day.
We didn't see any of the attractions, because they all cost money, but it was
fun walking around this quaint town together. The only thing that would have
made it better was Dad.
We returned to the
motel. It was dark. Luckily, this hole in the ground was in a sweet little town
and not in a bad neighborhood, but this must be the place that people with
hardly any money stayed at when they visited this town. Mom said they were
doing renovations, trying to make it nicer. They could only get better, this
place was pretty disgusting the way it was.
After I changed into my
pajamas, Mom told me to brush my teeth.
The bathroom. I opened
the tattered door that felt like it was made out of cardboard and flicked on
the light. The bathroom looked as though someone had attempted to clean it up
for us. How nice. But at closer inspection, the mirror had a crack at the top,
the faucet had green build up around where the water came out, the toilet had
black stains close to the rim of the bowl, and the tub had lots of owies in the
coating. I hope mom doesn't ask me to shower while we stay here. Darn, if this
place had a swimming pool I could count that as my shower!
Brush teeth, use the
potty - exit quickly.
Mom had bought a bag of
Cheetos while we were in town, so we all munched on some and watched TV before
attempting sleep. There was nothing worth watching. Mom said ,“Time for bed
guys, I am pretty sure the bed linens are clean. They just have owies on them.
Please do your best to get to sleep.”
"Well, it doesn't
look too clean to me." I muttered before lying down. I refused to let the
big blanket touch me - sheet only. I knew sleep would be hard to achieve
tonight. I was so used to the weight of a blanket on me that I felt naked lying
here with just a sheet, but I couldn't bear the thought of pulling that
cigarette burned and stained blanket all around me. I listened to the TV for as
long as it took to fall asleep. I think I heard two long adult programs and a
little bit of late night news before I conked.
