Wednesday, April 06, 2016

F is for...Family/friends

F is for...Family/friends.

In my book, there is a big difference between the two. Family will ALWAYS be your family, no matter if you fight or have many miles and years between you...they will still be your family. With that being said, you can't pick your family. Sure you might have some A+ family members, like Aunt Martha who will gladly knit you anything you ask or help in anyway she can. But you also get the D- family members, like Uncle Bobby who doesn't show up to any family functions, and when he does he belittles the other adults in the room. And unfortunately, all too often, there are family members who put on a grand facade of being a perfect family. But upon closer inspection, you'll see through the cracks in the facade to the crap that lies beneath.

Yes, fertilized by bullshit indeed!

But friends, on the other hand, are chosen and friendships can be lost. 

What makes a good friend?
-Someone who has your back
-Someone who makes you feel good about yourself
-Someone who doesn't judge you
-Someone whose company you enjoy
-Someone who won't put you down
-Someone who will help you when you face a tough situation
-Someone who will listen
-Someone who respects you

I also find it interesting that some people have many friends that they are close to, while others have just one or two. One theory behind why some choose one over the other depends on the economy and whether or not people move a lot. When the economy is good, people tend to move making the relationships more shallow but widespread. When the economy is bad, people tend to stay put and build stronger relationships with the people in close proximity to them. 

I'm the kind of person that has one or two close friends...a strong and deep relationship with them.

Do you have many good friends or a handful of best friends?


Anonymous said...

Here in Germany a Freund (friend) is only somebody you are very close to. All others are "Bekannte" or if you know somebody better it's "guter Bekannter" - the words can't be translated as the translation would be friend, but it's more like 'somebody I know' or 'somebody I know well'.
In consequence there are only a handful of people who I call 'Freunde' but a bigger group of 'Bekannte'.
I know I could always come to my 'Freunde' and they would help me whatever it is. They would do more as most family members would do. That's because friends are chosen, you'd did sticked together in happy and unhappy situations, perhaps even since school-time. You tell them more about you than you would tell your family because you know that they won't betray you...
With my 'Bekannte' it's different. We do stuff together and have fun, have a chat, but it doesn't go deeper and I wouldn't bother them with certain private details or ask them for help in every situation.

I wonder how the definition of a "friend" would be like in other countries...


Unknown said...

ClaoWue, I'm so glad you replied and taught me a bit about the German terminology for friends and close friends. My mother has so many friends and they are all so supportive of her - it's impressive to see them in action after a surgery, calling, visiting, texting, sending flowers, the whole enchilada.

Anonymous said...

That's great! How goes the saying (if it is one): It's not the quantity which counts, but the quality. This is true, especially for friends. And if quantity meets quality it's even better!

BarbRad said...

I'm afraid my closest friends have left this world. I've found it hard at my age when I have so little time I'm not working to go out and make new ones. I need to work on that. My closest remaining friend is hours away.

**AUDIO TOUR With Giveaway** Cross by D.A. Roach

Abibliophobia Anonymous Book Reviews: **AUDIO TOUR With Giveaway** Cross by D.A. Roach : Title: Cross Author: D.A. Roach ...